We all dream. I dunno why, but in the back of our mind, we all hope for the best outcome. Even from the most practical veteran person to a five year old child. Obviously,their dreams are different. While the old citizen probably dreams of a bit of recognition and respect from his heirs, a child's dream is probably confined within delicious bakeries and splendid toys.

At one point of our life, we all get stripped off our dreams, thrashed into reality. The colors seem to fade away. We lose trust on hope. We decide not to dream anymore, decide to turn inert towards human feelings, "comfortably numb" one can say. But then the pixie within ourselves gets resurrected once again. Its just a matter of time. For some it takes ages, while may be some recover within hours. But at the end of the day, they all do. They all start dreaming once again.

I just can not understand human nature. Why on earth they commit the same mistake over and over? why do they never quit dreaming? Dreams can not be realized or can they? All I can say that, in spite of these "logical" thoughts of mine, I can't deny myself being a human being. And I'll dream. I'll dream again no matter whatever happens with me. People may call me fool, stubborn,obstinate. Absolutely correct!! but I've a different and much better word for me and people like myself. I call them "gutsy". In a typical slang language the perfect sentence describing them is "those who have balls".

Like everybody else around here, I also hate to lose. But I love those people who takes lesson from their falls, who turn their weaknesses into their strengths. I genuinely think that those people who tend to lock themselves into rooms just in the fear of getting defeated, should die. This world is for "bolds". And "chickens" don't have a right to be here. Spartan mentality??? Yeah!! it is. x)

This post of mine is going to be a bit sadistic, and a few friends of mine will definitely kill me if they know about this post.

Okay this post is about "love".Sorry, it isn't something where at the end of the day the boy and the girl sing a "soon to be hit" Hindi song together, neither is it one of those tragic stories. In fact, it ain't a story at all. Its just a collection of scientific facts that are discovered recently.Okay, no more trash talking, let's start:

The scientists have recently discovered the reason behind falling in love, and they also have discovered the reason why people who have once been in love are susceptible to fall in love yet again than the people who aren't experienced at all.

The reason behind this feeling is actually a hormone called PEA. It secretes from pituitary and has a effect similar to the combined effect adrenaline and amphetamine. The PEA secretes whenever a person experience certain features of another person, say the mode in which she says hi, or his stamina etc.

So, based on this fact one can easily draw some conclusions:

Q: Is there something called true love?

A: [this ain't my conclusion, it was provided as a conclusion at the end of the report] A big NO, you are either in love or you aren't. If he/she makes your PEA to secrete, then you are in love with him/her. Else you are not.

Q: Why people are so fascinated about "first love"?

A: Have you smoked cigarette? or have you ever consumed alcohol? its best if you have experienced marijuana.Like all of them , PEA is also addictive in nature. The smokers dare to forget their first smoking experience, its all about tasting the blood for the first time. No body can ever forget the first "hallu" season with marijuana, even if he becomes a regular consumer later on. Its the first time you taste that shit.And then the tale starts.

Q: Why people who have once been in love, are more susceptible to fall in love yet again?

A: Plain and simple. Just take the example of a smoker and remember Mark Twain's words, "I know quitting cigarettes is one of the easiest tasks of the world, I myself have done so for at least a thousand times" Same goes with love, if the person was in love, that means he/she was addicted to PEA once, but due to some reasons, he/she was forced to quit.Its always easier for such people to get indulged in the activity once again.

Q: Why can't you make yourself love someone?

A: Okay. This is a bit tricky. Insulin is yet another hormone. You can't make that to secrete either, according to your own wish. And its well known that some people are compelled to inject insulin externally. Same goes with PEA, one can not secrete it at his/her own wish. Its involuntary. So, that means that one can't make him/herself love someone.

Q: Why is it so difficult to get over?

A: Have you tried amphetamine? people who are addicted to that are usually sent to rehab in order to get them back to normal life. How on earth can you expect that you can run away from something similar so easily.

This discovery I think have answered everything regarding love. Answers to questions like those mentioned above in addition to some others like why love seems cliche after a long period of time, why does it feel so good when you see your loved ones after a long time and many many more.

So, that's all about love. I wonder someday science will even provide a similar explanation about "life".

He looked at his watch."10:30 shit!!! gonna get home soon, don wanna keep her waiting"... she looked at her watch,"10:30!! is he going to come today?? I guess not." She was embarrassed, she waited for him for 1 hour, and now, the wait seems so tiring. " ashbe na o, ektuo amar kotha vabe na", she told to herself. Meanwhile he was nervous. "train ta asche na kano? dhurrr!! kokhon pouchabo bari??". He looked at his watch again. All the faces around him seemed to get blurred. "Kokhon bari pouchabo??". "Kano wait kori ami or jonye?" she thought, but still someone inside her shouted out, " he's gonna come" She waited for another hour. No sign of him, she left a deep sigh and turned back. 30 minutes later he hasted to the spot. "kothaye o???" he thought. Both of them were thinking about each other, but none had any idea about what's going inside the mind of the other. He waited for her there for the whole night. But no body came. He was just a bit too late. And she was just a bit too early.

Sanskriti starts tomorrow... the old feeling is back again... the days of toil but still the days of enjoyment... the saga starts tomorrow... yippie

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People believe in killing their enemies.They try to choke them down, entangle them to death. They leave no way for their return. May be that's why they are called enemies. Those human beings deserve no chance to be alive.

However my philosophy is a bit different. I always leave at least one path for my enemies to return into the game.[probably inspired by "zigsaw"]. In past, they have returned, they have made me bleed badly. But this phoenix never learns from betrayals. He never quits trusting on people, be that his enemies or whatever.

But, this time I'm playing a small bit of game with myself. Much like "memento"... using myself. And I know, as the game progresses, it will take me to a point of no return. I won't whine for any chances. All I wanna say is that I in full sense. This post is probably more for myself. So that, if in future I fail, I may revert back to this post and re-realize that it was my fault, not of anyone else.

The Phoenix rises again. :)

Annoyed, disgusted, irritated... can't think of any more adjectives. As if everything around me is conspiring to make me annoyed and disgusted.

first of all, this friend of mine [only if you call sharing a few words to be a friendship]. He keeps on posting pictures everyday in his orkut albums. And all of them have two girls posing. A variety of poses no doubt. In some, they resemble "David", while in some they resemble "Monalisa"...some have their index finger pointed, in some they have one of their eyelids closed. Every snap is different from the other. In some they are showing only one finger, while in some they are showing two fingers and so on untill they show all five fingers of them. And then they turn to their other hand. Quite undoubtedly the album belongs to my dear old friend and he can do whatever he wants with it. But this fellow keeps on posting a single picture every single hour so that his updates remain at the top of the updates list. People will suggest me to turn off my updates, but then I will miss the important ones too. x(. Irritating as hell.

Then there is this galacticos thingie, which wont unlock the players with 100 skill rating. My eyeballs are tired of seeing much weaker teams than mine having a line up with almost every player having a skill rating of 100. These teams have much less points than mine, which in turn implies that they have won/drawn much less number of games. So, that implies that they had less opportunity to unlock those players. But..... I dunno why this application/its creator is against me. Why on earth it doesn't allow me to transfer those players??? Disgusting.

And then the orkut friend list. Every half an hour, I refresh the page to see whether somebody worth chatting has become online. But I hardly find anyone there. The online friends list always remains crowded with " hello","whatcha doin?"" what have you eaten today?"," how are you?" people.

Then my parents, who will turn on the tv set and watch back to back "mithun movies". And when they are finished with him, they will simply switch to some other bengali channel and watch bengali serials. Well! I know they are the busy people and not me. But there's a thing called sports channel. Baba, gimme a break.Tumi ki kore emon hole??? :'( :'(

And then there are novels, currently I have a Jeffrey Archer with me. The book have at least 600 pages.Whenever I feel an urge to read the book, its volume discourages me. Can't these people write novels that are limited within say 250 pages.... :(

And to add to it all, there are class tests...and an alarm always keeps on saying..." tum jo bhi kar rahein ho, galad kar rahein ho, tumko abhi parna chahiye, wednesday tumhara class test hain"....Gawd!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah! Its Holi today and its raining "colors". However not the same colors that I was used with. In college, the festival of color started early on Friday and I had to go to a company in order to collect some money. Thank god, I had that fixture that day. On the afternoon, when I returned back to my second home, I found people doing insane stuffs with every possible objects available. Be that "aloor dom", mud , Chowmein ,eggs or rotten tomatoes. I was quite surprised to find that people, who would hardly buy you a plate of "luchi-aloor dom" or chow in case you are hungry and ask them politely for doing so, is actually buying those stuffs, mixing those with colors [dunno know why on earth], and smearing others ( especially ladies) with that. I was sitting comfortable inside the union room where any kind of such activities were strictly banned. And with even my batch mates being involved in the joy making, I had no other options.

One of the first years proudly announced," we bought at least 600 eggs today." I was stunned. I could not get the point. I told him, " Can you ever imagine how many people are deprived from having an egg?" He gave me an embarrassed smile and went away [hadn't I said this, he probably had an intention of targeting my head]. I thought, they are first years only, and are here for making some fun. This kind of strange and spoiler thoughts are not expected to come into their young brains. Later on, I told the same thing to another one of my friends. He replied," Your point is vague in the sense that even if we haven't bought them, they wouldn't have gotten an access to those eggs." He had a splendid point really. So, I had no other options than to remain silent.

Arre yaar, get a life. You had your share of fun no doubt. But please don't accuse us for not getting involved in your fun. We will rather opt for putting a scoop of ice-cream into our stomach than to smear someone with that. And all of you out there, I guess you should rethink. Holi is a festival of colors and fun. "Chowmein" doesn't really fall into the category of colors, and does it fall into that "fun" category?? If I get a chance, I will rather give it to Senapati or some other poor kid. And regarding my "beer", I put that stuff into my stomach rather than throwing it at someone.

finally I would like to say you that, I or anyone else, who was not involved in "merrymaking" is none to judge what is right and what is wrong. It was your money, you do whatever you want with that. We are nobody to comment. But the same holds true in our case also. So please don't tell us things like, " you missed the fun" etc etc. Its not our kind of fun. :)