Realisation

Dead... alive... dead..put back into life... dead again...resurrected... dead... like what's happening with me??? every time I try to find the essence of life, my destiny's playing the villain's role. The finch is within my reach, and my goal is to clinch it. But every time I close my fist, I find nothing there. Like the sands, dry sands escaping my grasp. What have I done God? Why don't you let me catch the finch. I wanna play the potter too. What's my fault. Is it my fault that I want to see every face around me gleeful? or is it that I bleed for others?? Whenever necessary people take advantage of me, use me and when they get what they wanted they simply throw me away. Be that of any physical significance or emotionally. I behave rudely with those with whom I should have behaved more patiently, I hurt those who care for me, I distrust those who are really trustworthy, I feel bored with those with whom I should have enjoyed the most, and they! they still love me, solace me, gives me a corner to hide, a door to close, a world to me, and I behave politely with those with whom I should have been rude, arrogant. I don't know myself. Like what I want, what I do, what I say everything regarding me is out of my control. But I will resurrect me soon. and this time it will be resurrecting myself. none other than me.

Saraswati puja

Sometimes I curse myself. I simply can't wake up early in the morning. I reckon its in my genes, whatever I do, I can't do it on a regular basis. Like I mentioned yesterday, today was the Saraswati puja and also my sister's birthday. So all in all it was a big occasion for me. Reuniting with the school friends, spending sometime with them, share each others frustrations regarding the absence of a " galfriend" in our life, discussing about how silly one's college is, discussing the burden of syllabus, sharing "prosad"s. But all these plans never turned up because I left the bed at about 12:30. My friends fixed a meeting at the school gate at 11:00 but at that time I was well in my dreams. So I missed it. But now I guess that whatever happened is for good, because unless I would have been dragging my body.

Boorriiiinngg :(

Sometimes I think what's interesting in Engineering, well, I am an engineering student of an esteemed university of the country [or at least I think it to be an esteemed one].Some people think the life of an engineer to be particularly full of activities, activities that keep you engaged. Some think them to be amusing. Me??? duh!. Our day starts with the realization that we are too late for even the third or fourth class, then we hassle towards the college, often doing daily works like brushing teeth and bathing simultaneously, bunk the breakfast and there we go. Aloha!! college's there. We see some familiar faces there. Attend some classes where we understand or gasp absolutely nothing,bunk some classes, sometimes sit idle mumbling gibberish with friends, sometimes playing the much hated 29 or uno [sometimes a bit interesting bridge],occasionally playing Cricket or Football, playing some boards of tt, kill time in the union rooms. Like what's we supposed to do? attend classes, visit the library regularly blah blah blah. And instead we are put into some silly labs where we do what we don't understand, and we don't do what we understand, and then the exams, where's its essential to be a cheater for survival because the teachers harass the non-cheaters.[remember teacher is an anagram of cheater], and then the life goes on in a cyclic order with a time period one year. Occasionally some engagement come in the form of fest. But they soon passes by. Life goes on and on

Broken promise

Well! a few days back, I promised to myself that I won't drink ever again. Ok!! I made the same promise regarding smoking too, but that was somewhat weaker you know!, in whole of my lifetime, I have made up my mind to quit smoking for at least a hundred times, but all of them ended up in vain. However, this time I failed again. My mom shouts at me to leave alcohol specially and it became so intolerable one day that I was determined to quit alcohol forever, but I betrayed myself again. Couldn't stop myself when I saw the bottles of our much beloved kingfisher strong.
The day was as interesting as any other. I woke up at about 9:00 am and heard "its my life" and " somewhere I belong" at some nearby house. It was so unexpected that I considered it as a dream, and went to sleep again. When I finally woke up, it was 12:00 already and I was already too much late to attend the first three classes, however as I reached the college, I thought that " if I am starving then lets starve completely", so I bunked the fourth class. Then came the electrical lab, and much to our surprise it went rather smoothly today, think we are becoming good electrical engineers gradually, then the daily drama went on, a few games of tt, some lazy seasons and finally returning home at about 9:00 pm. I am just wondering when will I go to bed today, usually its directly proportional to the time I return home so I don't think I will be able to make it anytime earlier than 4:00 am [and people call themselves insomniacs], so lets see. Tomorrow's a big occasion anyway.

Restart

There are certain things that I will like to make clear right at the beginning:

1) Why this blog is here: I did have a blog before, but unfortunately I lost or rather I forgot its password[dumb me!]. So I needed another blog to scribble down my ideas and pointless imaginations and stupid writings, that's why its here.

2) Where is my ex-blog: Although it have nothing special in it other than the design [the contents are gibberish off course], I have provided a link for it at the top. So if one wants to see it, he/she may click the exblog tab, but obviously at his/her own risk

3) What SNA stands for:- It stands for still not allocated or assigned, for someone who's a bit accustomed with the net-language, its a dead link, waiting for a hyperlink to get assigned to it. For others CLICKING IT WONT LEAD YOU ANYWHERE.

4) What dashboard stands for: Well! its for me, the template does not provide a link for the dashboard in its mainpage [or I am blind and cant see it], so I built a link for myself.For others: clicking it will lead it to your dashboard.

5) Where I got the template: well! its Nitelife from http://blogger-templates.blogspot.com/
although I had to do some modifications in order to make it acceptable to the blogger.

6) Why this kind of a template: I strongly believe that the posts that are coming next will not have anything in them, so I chose this template to make the blog a bit lucrative, the thing I can do obv!!!

7) When will I stop giving running commentaries : In this post I am stopping right here.