You made me cry after 5 long years. Thank you. :)

Time has come to move on. Its really funny that how simple things put an end to everything. Months of anticipation, days full of expectation;everything ends. One may ask if there was something at all. May be the answer is NO, in fact its the most probable answer. But still, it does feel gloomy. Four months to be exact, and it ends here. I am selfish. I wanna move on. The station will remain full of passengers forever. But I'll never be there. Perhaps the station master, the ticket collecting staffs, the attendants will not miss me, perhaps they will remain busy with the ministers and the officers, but I'll not be there. The red postbox will stand still. People will continue to drop letters there. But there will not be anything from me. I lived here for four months, but it managed to make an entry in my soul,despite of the discouragement coming in various forms. I fell in love with its greenery, its fragrance, its innocence [though I doubt whether a place can be innocent or not]. And now everything ends. Perhaps I'll have to return here sometime in the future, to search myself, don't know whether it will remain the same for me. I think it won't. But still, I have made a decision and I am one of those kinds, who remains fixed to their decisions no matter what happens. So-----ADIEU

Sems are nearing by, yet again. I reckon I am in a much better situation than I was in the previous ones. But then, when I look at the classtest results, I feel that how wrong I was :(. But I've become so indifferent that it fails to charge me up. I wonder, had been a few years back, I would have restarted, would have locked myself in some room and thrown the key away. Time changes people.Sometimes even from their core. Sometimes I wonder, how stubborn I have become. I seem to overlook all the omens and keep stucked to some age old thoughts [or should I say, thoughts that make me happy], sometimes I just refuse to advance on the path of life, I get myself stucked in a bend,look everywhere, in all possible direction for a possible ray of light. Even the vaguest of them, even sometimes a matchstick excites me. And when there is none, I see the mirages. And when I realise, I walk a few steps only to get stucked yet again.

Contd, part of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. [the part that siddhartha refused to jot up]

Well!! I thing for sure. He indeed has started one of the favorite topics of mine.But I think he wont remain unbiased when he starts describing himself. So I think I should write it up, before he does :D. So here's the Gondhomodon for you.

Siddhartha Roy came with a face full of beards from Farakka, and within an week or so, this guy proved himself to be one of the greatest all rounders ju electrical department ever had.Well!! all rounder means he's a champion in everything, be that spreading foul odours [body odour, not fart gas] like a skunk, or showing wonderful soccer skills [sometimes sloppy or rather "thopthope": jokes part, this dude is truly a brilliant striker], or displaying psychogiri [a student of d great panu I should say, struggling hard to overshadow him] or be that lethal backhand flicks and jabs in tt. The first day, siddhartha sat beside me,he made me realise that whom am I sitting next to by saying "sir-er gale thabra marle to mosa berobe". Now-a-days not stinking like he used to, in fact he's not stinking at all. A savior of us[esp me n souvik] in many exams, especially those which requires vast usage of one's brain [ie the more mathematical ones].He showed his football skills first in our freshers tournament, and emerged out as the top goal scorer as far as I can remember, and he is a brilliant quizzer. Enough of appraisal. He has a weird tendency to blow ashes in one's eyes :D. Although he ensures that it doesn't contain a single spark, he has an weird tendency to say that " m sleeping" while actually he's mugging,finally he has a weird tendency to laugh at jokes which others feel to be severely "PJ".

ps:-InBh :D. well!! that's the source of all those notes ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

How many times did I repent for being late?Thousands of.Each and everyday I curse myself for not getting up a bit early from the bed.This habit of mine has caused me to miss many classes, right from the school days, and the same saga continues even now. When I used to play cricket, many times I have repented for playing a shot a bit too late, and ending up watching my stamps getting tumbled. When I used to play soccer, I used to stand as the goalkeeper, many a times I consumed a goal for reacting lazily. And now I play table tennis and the same problem persists. I reckon not just sports and studies, this dangerous habit has its foul influence in the other chapters of my life too. It has some connections with my fate too. Whenever I found myself standing in the door of happiness, I find it closed, and some heavenly voice announces, " A are a bit too late." Then I turn back to the house of sorrows, and astonishingly it never rejects me for me being late.Many a times, I have been expelled from the class for arriving there late,sometimes I had to finish a 30 marks question in 10 minutes for being late. I am habituated with such things. Because they are due to my own fault. Perhaps I should have cared to be punctual. But sometimes I wonder, why am I getting punished for things which are not under my control? Perhaps I came into this world at a bit too late than the scheduled time [although my mom says, I was premature], and that was my fault. Some heavenly forces accused me of being guilty right at that instance of my birth.And I will be paying the compensation throughout my life, and paying it, and paying......

The world has turned into a biiiiig frying pan, and someone is roasting us. Heatwaves are spreading in all directions with tremendous speed ,recently. And it is getting nearly impossible to concentrate on anything, be that a game or some studies or anything else. With the increasing heat, human beings are turning more and more stubborn and obstinate. Well!! that doesn't seem to be the case with me, recently I have undergone a serious change in my mind. Now I am experiencing immense pleasure in facing defeat. I am facing defeat in everything, literally everything. The results are not always prominent but still.. I am getting defeated by... myself. A few days back I accepted the defeat in something that was only halfway through according to my opinion. But still I was getting bored of the daily struggles, so I thought I rather give up and watch. After another few days, I decided to only give up. I am accepting everything that people are telling to me. However hard that may be. I am accepting everything. Because, I am defeated and I have nothing inside me anymore that'll charge me up to continue the struggle.

Tom put a pair of matchsticks in between his eyelids to prevent them from getting shut. I reckon I need some similar arrangement. With my eyes desperately willing to get some rest, and stomach aching in hunger, my mind refusing to co-operate, and my ears getting numb, I am still trying to mug. Guess what??!! I have a test tomorrow, and this time I wanna write on my own.
The smoke is not really getting absorbed in my lungs, the pores have been shut by suspended particulates I guess. My body is craving for some nice pegs of alcohol, whiskey!! I am really missing you now. I have forgot the last time I met you. Most probably have been some six months or so. I need you now. My tobacco pouch is empty. So, I am not getting allowed to have myself transformed into a steam engine either. The cigarettes are there though, but on verge of getting finished. Coke have stopped talking with me. And I just hate tea or coffee. God! Please show me some way.
PS: I am still not planning to slash my wrist, and boil myself inside an autoclave as yet.

I wonder why every blog in this world gets overcrowded with the word "I", probably its the favorite word of most of the people in this world. I myself studied all of my blogs, and have found that I am also biased. So I thought why not I write a entry based not on me.

She started form her home. With the load of a 10 kg bag on her little shoulders, she rode a bus. It was her daily routine. Going to bed at a time, which is not so normal for normal people [although earlier than me :D], getting up from her dreams at a time which is not so normal for normal people, leave the house for her destination at a time which is again not so normal for normal people. Everything about her was not so normal, which a normal person call normal, but still she was normal, a little bit abnormal though.

However this day was not lucky for her, the bus refused to advance beyond a certain stoppage, and left her on a crossing, with four roads in four directions, she found herself in a very awkward situation. Right from the day, when she started her daily journey, she relied on the bus, and never felt the urge to know the path to her destination. First she thought that the road where the bus was standing will certainly not be the road she wants, because she came from there, but it leaves the other three roads. Moreover she was new in the locality, and did not know the local language, so it was even worse for her. So what did she do??

She went right at the mouth of the road from where she came, and started heading towards her home, but midway in the path, she suddenly thought that it was very important for her to reach the destination that day, so she made an about turn and went towards the crossing. But on reaching the crossing the same problem arose once again so she turned back to home, on midway she again changed her mind, and reached the crossing yet again. She did it for the whole day, numerous times. And finally getting tired she went back to her shelter.
And the day ended.