I am not a great believer in God. But I do believe that there is someone.Someone who looks after you, someone who listens to you when all ears around you turn deaf, someone who understands you even when everybody gets you wrong, someone who always assures you with his omnipresence. God to me have never been a mere deity, someone who should be worshiped, rather I always took him as a friend, the relationship with whom has undergone high and low states,just like the rest of my friends.
I can still remember that day.An usual day it was,with me and my friends enjoying a after college booze session on the ju field. Suddenly, the figure of a particular personnel appeared. Now it's an well known fact, that I feel uncomfortable when I sense that particular personnel around. The reason is known to everyone. However, that day, he was with yet another girl.Suddenly, a sense of hatred against God was generated in my mind.I pulled up my hand and mimicked as if I'm shooting someone in the sky, silently I told to God," Have you been a human, I would certainly have killed you today."
After a day or two, an sms hit my inbox saying something like," we had a break up" etc. I wasn't happy at all but still I told to God, " at last, you listened to me." But perhaps he was smiling then. Perhaps he was saying that, " Let things happen according to your wish, and let's see what happens." In a previous post, I mentioned that life provides a MCQ questionnaire for us and its outcomes are according to the options we select. However, I was talking about one particular incident. What happened next was completely out of my experience, there was a huge difference between what I thought and what actually turned out to be. Everyday, I repented for challenging God that day, and perhaps he was smiling, perhaps he was sad for me too and shed some teardrops in the form of raindrops, but still he sticked to his ego. And at the end of it, something happened that was completely beyond my imagination, proving how wrong I was.
I have learnt a lesson from the whole experience, that you must not challenge the God.What we feel to be a curse, may actually be a veiled boon. In fact they are. He never curses anyone. Let things go by as they are going, at most try to change them a bit, try harder. But if its still not responding then move on. Never challenge God.
At the end of this post, I will like to say sorry to a certain human being. Because I must say that I have never been able to become the "only" friend she wished, rather I always had a crush on her.I am sorry for being unable to become an " only" friend. But for the rest, I don't have even a morsel of repentance in my mind because I know whatever I did was the right thing to do. Be that deleting her from the orkut friendlist, removing testimonials written by her, doubting her sense of self esteem, rebuking or humiliating her or whatever.
Perhaps Backhand smashes have something to do with a mend heart. :D. Today, I can't say that I have recovered wholly, but still I reckon I have understood the whole thing, and I can sense myself recovering.Strangely, during these period, none of my backhand smashes were going right, but today I had two of them bang on spot and zoom past the opponent. :D
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