Its been quite a while since my last blog. To say the truth, I was busy. Was hell busy with my life. I still remember, when I was smaller and was bothered and moved by pretty small issues, my parents used to say,"preserve this emotion, you'll need this later." and may be I felt unsatisfied with their assertion. May be I was bothered about myself too much.I believed that my share of sorrows were greater than anyone in this Earth. Gradually, as time passed by, I got into music. It taught me that I was not the only one suffering. There are hundreds and thousands of people facing similar [if not worse] situations. Now that I'm about to step into the 22nd year in my life, I realise I it even more bitterly. Gone are the days of butterfly feeling in my stomach and gossiping hours with friends about my newest crush. The mundane earth welcomes me. Problems,worries, agonies beckon me. Pain says, " for all this days, you've misused my name, now take a taste of me." and I had no option other than to surrender. So, please don't grow up. Since, as you grow up the real face of life will get revealed to you. And that's not very pleasant!

One day I collected a bundle of twain. It was with a kite that fell on our terrace. Now, I can't fly kites. But still have an weird tendency to collect kites and twains (or at least I had). I felt that kites are beautiful. They impart some color variation in the otherwise dull sky (although, the sky itself ain't dull most of the time, but still... kites look good). So there's an explanation for my rather unusual affection towards kites, but what about twains? however I am not here for talking about my hobbies and all. However, I bundled up the twain as neatly as possible and put it aside. I desperately not wanted them to get entangled. A few days later, when I brought it from the shelf, it was tangled!!!

No matter, how desperately you try to keep things simple, straight and parallel; they get crooked and entangled. May be one would have done better had it was all him dealing the whole matter.However, in most of situations that is not the case. But you can't control the other people involved with the same incidence. There are and there will always remain some emo people, some too complicated to think straight, some seeking the meaning of "life" and " god" [duh!!] and some, who just relishes spoiling others broth.

How does it feel when you see your house to be aged, you apply some paint to make it like new and when you return home, you find things turned all the same again by some political writings on your wall. How does it feel when you plaster a broken corner of your house, and later you find it same all over again?

There are some people who never stop trying, who never gives up. But more importantly there are even more people who just loves to demolish it down. But still, if one manages to keep things straight, the credit belongs entirely to him.

Some lessons

While returning from college via the bus route, I sometimes halt before a particular street food vendor. This favorite hawker of mine sells unique "aloo" chops. Now, whether the taste of his chops are exquisite or not is a matter of dispute. But today I've learnt a lesson from this old chap. May be I've learnt the lesson much before, but he for once again he pointed it out in front of me.

Today when I asked "Kaka" to give me chops worth rs 6, Kaka told me to wait for a while. But the other people around were not his regular customers, so obviously they were a bit irritated with this delay, someone among them asked, " where's your son Kaka??" why isn't he helping you today?" Kaka replied with a calm voice, " He has his studies. and I think its better to indulge yourself in studies than to waste your time, I can do this job singlehandedly, may be that will cause some delay. But I can withstand that especially when the cost is a few study hours". Kaka taught me that even the poorest and most illiterate person really cares much about studies than we do. Probably its because our parents have never given us any chance to complain about our education. And its a well-proven fact that human beings tend to neglect what they achieve at ease. May be, the counted number of books that the poor chap managed to buy for that lad, isn't enough for his studies. That's why they put so much of stress on studies.

The point is not solely about studies. I've studied quite a few people and observed that they tend to neglect what comes at ease.

This is the incident of one day. Another day, I went to "Kaka's" stall much earlier, say at five in the afternoon or so.Kaka,then was just preparing for daily sells. That day those chops were for my parents, and it was their veggie day. So I asked Kaka, beforehand that whether his chops are purely veg or not. Now one thing I need to clarify in this context that this first sell is extremely important for hawkers. They call it " bouni" and they believe that the sell for the rest of the day hugely depends upon this first sell. And they try their level best to ensure that this first customer does not return empty handed.

So Kaka thought for a moment and then asked me, " what exactly do you mean by saying veg?"

I said, " that it mustn't contain any traces of garlic or onion".Kaka replied, " no dear!! this chops contain garlic". I returned but was awestruck. I personally do not prefer this habit of my parents and my question was just for its sake [ie just for questioning purpose], but the honesty of that poor man made me bow in front of him.

The death sentence of Kasab

To tell you the truth I don't know his full name, neither have I any interest to know that either. I don't regard him as a celebrity unlike many of the daily newspapers. Even the daily routine of Kasab is now available over the electronic media. I personally do not think him to be such an important guy first of all. But let's come back to the topic.

The greatest dispute that has arisen now, is to whether death sentences should be banned or not. Thousands of humanist organisations have joined the rally in order to cancel the death sentence of the only surviving terrorist of the Mumbai attack. I am too small a human being to judge whether death sentences should be there or not. But imagine the consequence of banning death order. Suppose I am a terrorist [say ;)] and I am planning to bomb a super mall and take thousands of lives. Now suppose I get caught. As far as I know, the maximum span of imprisonment according to Indian constitution [not sure] is 17 years. So if I get caught, at maximum I'll get imprisoned for only 17 years. Forget justice and everything. In that case, you need not be a "zihadi" to perform such an attack. Everybody with a "proper"(??!!) reason to attack someone will also join the act. Chidambaram got hit by a sandal a few days back. Now, if death sentences are cancelled, on the next occasion he'll probably get hit by a 0.5 mm . Its not that I am a great supporter of the Indian political leaders. But my hatred is not to the point of assassinating them. With the criminals being aware of the fact that they won't get killed,they will certainly spread a rampage.

I am on for Kasab's death sentence. No matter what media creates of him, a superman, a lone boy, a hernia patient or whatever. I do think that the souls that died at Mumbai need to rest in peace. And the only way to accomplish that is to prosecute their murderer in my opinion.

[this article consists solely of personal views and thoughts, and there is no intention to harm/disregard/disrespect any person/organisation/country living or dead.]

A comparison between Creed and Alterbridge

Its a comparative study between Creed and Alterbridge from an ordinary listener's point of view.For those to whom both of the names are alien words: those are in fact two alternative rock bands. The reason of this comparison being that Alterbridge was actually formed by some ex-creed members [Mark Tremonti,Scott Phillips and Brian Marshall to be specific] on 2004 after Creed got disbanded, and the lead vocal Scott Strapp chose to go for a solo career. So, its quite natural to discuss whether the effect of this disband was positive or negative.

I used to think that Creed songs are for happy souls, it "apparently" talks about the lighter sides of life. Their main theme being success, joy, love stories etc [all apparently] whereas Alterbridge songs quite clearly helps one to fight the griefs in his/her life, makes him/her realise that he/she is not the only one out in this world facing all those troubles. I personally feel that "happy souls" don't need music for their survival that much. So I used to prefer Alterbridge. Until I realized that there is a hidden message in almost all Creed songs. Say for example, "My sacrifice" apparently tells the story of a successful love where the boy is saying how much he has been obliged by the presence of his lady love. But if one listens carefully he will notice that past tense is used throughout the song. Also the significance of repeated usage of the words "my sacrifice" remains unexplained. I had to listen to the song carefully for at least 50 odd times to realize the fact that the boy is actually no more in this world. The same is true with "With arms wide open" although here the statement is a bit clearer. While stating how much he adores her, suddenly the singer shouts out, " If I get one more chance,......, I hope he's not like me, I hope he understands"... most of the Creed songs makes one to think.

While Alterbridge songs are much more straightforward I reckon. Its much easier to grasp the meaning of the sentence, " on broken wings I am flying, it wont take long"["Broken wing"] than to guess the meaning from tenses. Most of the Alterbridge songs are enriched with such easy to comprehend lyrics. Say " Metalingus"... I don't think that there's any hidden meaning. Also, I personally feel that Alterbridge dares to experiment with the music. [ the instrumentals], which is a negative side in Creed's songs according to my opinion.

I personally think that songs should be easy to comprehend [there's rocket science for complicated minds], so although I must admit that Creed songs are beautiful and some of them are among my all time favorites; my choice is Alterbridge. x)

The evolution of gaming style in JU FET TT room

[Prologue:- My semester has ended, and currently I have nothing to do other than leading a boring and monotonic life, this particular post is a result of that boredom, so excuse me...I can't help x(]

Being a third year student [soon to be a fourth year [fingers crossed]], I've witnessed a whole deal of evolution in the tt gaming style in JU FET TT room. To explain elaborately, when I was a first year student, the star players used to rely upon sheer power. Obviously I am not talking about the quotas. I have no disrespect for them but its true that much of the players of that era lacked the necessary agility and reflex to counter a powerful smash. Mainly because of that, the better ones used to rely upon forehand smash, but due to over usage of that particular shot, people realized that they'll have to become agile in order to face these players. So the age of ultra defensive choppers began. Though I personally don't prefer any of these two styles, but I must admire the style of a few among this lot. Lahirida and Sayada have given perfect examples of how to make this kinda game play into something entertaining. Meanwhile those "powerful" players left the college. So the era of these defensive players began. Gradually people realized that power is not the only thing, and they started trying top spin and other kinds of spins. A properly played top spin requires something more than just agility to counter. These days, the whole tt room is majorly divided into two kinds of players. the choppers and the top spinners. Power has lost its importance cause nobody will provide you with a high tossed loop to give you the chance to show your power. I personally feel that the competition has grown tougher these days, with players playing better than they used to.

Moreover we are seeing a whole deal of new but orthodox shots, like the drive[souravda]], the flip[ritoda], the loops [sumitavada], the jabs [siddhartha] etc and also improved backhand skills. This is a good indication indeed. :)

Am a bit surprised with the things that are going on around me. A few days back, there weren't any slightest ray of hope around. Every door was locked for us. Wherever we went, we got rejected. But things have started getting a bit brighter. But that's the problem. Probably I've turned into a maniac, who just fears the sensation of comfort.

Yeah, I've realized it long back, that "luck" aint in my side. So, when now things are getting a bit easier, a feeling of discomfort is always lingering in my mind. An apprehension, whether its the null before a storm.x(

Moreover, this feeling of "feeding on one's corpse" is eating me up from inside.

NO, EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.

We all dream. I dunno why, but in the back of our mind, we all hope for the best outcome. Even from the most practical veteran person to a five year old child. Obviously,their dreams are different. While the old citizen probably dreams of a bit of recognition and respect from his heirs, a child's dream is probably confined within delicious bakeries and splendid toys.

At one point of our life, we all get stripped off our dreams, thrashed into reality. The colors seem to fade away. We lose trust on hope. We decide not to dream anymore, decide to turn inert towards human feelings, "comfortably numb" one can say. But then the pixie within ourselves gets resurrected once again. Its just a matter of time. For some it takes ages, while may be some recover within hours. But at the end of the day, they all do. They all start dreaming once again.

I just can not understand human nature. Why on earth they commit the same mistake over and over? why do they never quit dreaming? Dreams can not be realized or can they? All I can say that, in spite of these "logical" thoughts of mine, I can't deny myself being a human being. And I'll dream. I'll dream again no matter whatever happens with me. People may call me fool, stubborn,obstinate. Absolutely correct!! but I've a different and much better word for me and people like myself. I call them "gutsy". In a typical slang language the perfect sentence describing them is "those who have balls".

Like everybody else around here, I also hate to lose. But I love those people who takes lesson from their falls, who turn their weaknesses into their strengths. I genuinely think that those people who tend to lock themselves into rooms just in the fear of getting defeated, should die. This world is for "bolds". And "chickens" don't have a right to be here. Spartan mentality??? Yeah!! it is. x)

This post of mine is going to be a bit sadistic, and a few friends of mine will definitely kill me if they know about this post.

Okay this post is about "love".Sorry, it isn't something where at the end of the day the boy and the girl sing a "soon to be hit" Hindi song together, neither is it one of those tragic stories. In fact, it ain't a story at all. Its just a collection of scientific facts that are discovered recently.Okay, no more trash talking, let's start:

The scientists have recently discovered the reason behind falling in love, and they also have discovered the reason why people who have once been in love are susceptible to fall in love yet again than the people who aren't experienced at all.

The reason behind this feeling is actually a hormone called PEA. It secretes from pituitary and has a effect similar to the combined effect adrenaline and amphetamine. The PEA secretes whenever a person experience certain features of another person, say the mode in which she says hi, or his stamina etc.

So, based on this fact one can easily draw some conclusions:

Q: Is there something called true love?

A: [this ain't my conclusion, it was provided as a conclusion at the end of the report] A big NO, you are either in love or you aren't. If he/she makes your PEA to secrete, then you are in love with him/her. Else you are not.

Q: Why people are so fascinated about "first love"?

A: Have you smoked cigarette? or have you ever consumed alcohol? its best if you have experienced marijuana.Like all of them , PEA is also addictive in nature. The smokers dare to forget their first smoking experience, its all about tasting the blood for the first time. No body can ever forget the first "hallu" season with marijuana, even if he becomes a regular consumer later on. Its the first time you taste that shit.And then the tale starts.

Q: Why people who have once been in love, are more susceptible to fall in love yet again?

A: Plain and simple. Just take the example of a smoker and remember Mark Twain's words, "I know quitting cigarettes is one of the easiest tasks of the world, I myself have done so for at least a thousand times" Same goes with love, if the person was in love, that means he/she was addicted to PEA once, but due to some reasons, he/she was forced to quit.Its always easier for such people to get indulged in the activity once again.

Q: Why can't you make yourself love someone?

A: Okay. This is a bit tricky. Insulin is yet another hormone. You can't make that to secrete either, according to your own wish. And its well known that some people are compelled to inject insulin externally. Same goes with PEA, one can not secrete it at his/her own wish. Its involuntary. So, that means that one can't make him/herself love someone.

Q: Why is it so difficult to get over?

A: Have you tried amphetamine? people who are addicted to that are usually sent to rehab in order to get them back to normal life. How on earth can you expect that you can run away from something similar so easily.

This discovery I think have answered everything regarding love. Answers to questions like those mentioned above in addition to some others like why love seems cliche after a long period of time, why does it feel so good when you see your loved ones after a long time and many many more.

So, that's all about love. I wonder someday science will even provide a similar explanation about "life".

He looked at his watch."10:30 shit!!! gonna get home soon, don wanna keep her waiting"... she looked at her watch,"10:30!! is he going to come today?? I guess not." She was embarrassed, she waited for him for 1 hour, and now, the wait seems so tiring. " ashbe na o, ektuo amar kotha vabe na", she told to herself. Meanwhile he was nervous. "train ta asche na kano? dhurrr!! kokhon pouchabo bari??". He looked at his watch again. All the faces around him seemed to get blurred. "Kokhon bari pouchabo??". "Kano wait kori ami or jonye?" she thought, but still someone inside her shouted out, " he's gonna come" She waited for another hour. No sign of him, she left a deep sigh and turned back. 30 minutes later he hasted to the spot. "kothaye o???" he thought. Both of them were thinking about each other, but none had any idea about what's going inside the mind of the other. He waited for her there for the whole night. But no body came. He was just a bit too late. And she was just a bit too early.

Sanskriti starts tomorrow... the old feeling is back again... the days of toil but still the days of enjoyment... the saga starts tomorrow... yippie

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People believe in killing their enemies.They try to choke them down, entangle them to death. They leave no way for their return. May be that's why they are called enemies. Those human beings deserve no chance to be alive.

However my philosophy is a bit different. I always leave at least one path for my enemies to return into the game.[probably inspired by "zigsaw"]. In past, they have returned, they have made me bleed badly. But this phoenix never learns from betrayals. He never quits trusting on people, be that his enemies or whatever.

But, this time I'm playing a small bit of game with myself. Much like "memento"... using myself. And I know, as the game progresses, it will take me to a point of no return. I won't whine for any chances. All I wanna say is that I in full sense. This post is probably more for myself. So that, if in future I fail, I may revert back to this post and re-realize that it was my fault, not of anyone else.

The Phoenix rises again. :)

Annoyed, disgusted, irritated... can't think of any more adjectives. As if everything around me is conspiring to make me annoyed and disgusted.

first of all, this friend of mine [only if you call sharing a few words to be a friendship]. He keeps on posting pictures everyday in his orkut albums. And all of them have two girls posing. A variety of poses no doubt. In some, they resemble "David", while in some they resemble "Monalisa"...some have their index finger pointed, in some they have one of their eyelids closed. Every snap is different from the other. In some they are showing only one finger, while in some they are showing two fingers and so on untill they show all five fingers of them. And then they turn to their other hand. Quite undoubtedly the album belongs to my dear old friend and he can do whatever he wants with it. But this fellow keeps on posting a single picture every single hour so that his updates remain at the top of the updates list. People will suggest me to turn off my updates, but then I will miss the important ones too. x(. Irritating as hell.

Then there is this galacticos thingie, which wont unlock the players with 100 skill rating. My eyeballs are tired of seeing much weaker teams than mine having a line up with almost every player having a skill rating of 100. These teams have much less points than mine, which in turn implies that they have won/drawn much less number of games. So, that implies that they had less opportunity to unlock those players. But..... I dunno why this application/its creator is against me. Why on earth it doesn't allow me to transfer those players??? Disgusting.

And then the orkut friend list. Every half an hour, I refresh the page to see whether somebody worth chatting has become online. But I hardly find anyone there. The online friends list always remains crowded with " hello","whatcha doin?"" what have you eaten today?"," how are you?" people.

Then my parents, who will turn on the tv set and watch back to back "mithun movies". And when they are finished with him, they will simply switch to some other bengali channel and watch bengali serials. Well! I know they are the busy people and not me. But there's a thing called sports channel. Baba, gimme a break.Tumi ki kore emon hole??? :'( :'(

And then there are novels, currently I have a Jeffrey Archer with me. The book have at least 600 pages.Whenever I feel an urge to read the book, its volume discourages me. Can't these people write novels that are limited within say 250 pages.... :(

And to add to it all, there are class tests...and an alarm always keeps on saying..." tum jo bhi kar rahein ho, galad kar rahein ho, tumko abhi parna chahiye, wednesday tumhara class test hain"....Gawd!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah! Its Holi today and its raining "colors". However not the same colors that I was used with. In college, the festival of color started early on Friday and I had to go to a company in order to collect some money. Thank god, I had that fixture that day. On the afternoon, when I returned back to my second home, I found people doing insane stuffs with every possible objects available. Be that "aloor dom", mud , Chowmein ,eggs or rotten tomatoes. I was quite surprised to find that people, who would hardly buy you a plate of "luchi-aloor dom" or chow in case you are hungry and ask them politely for doing so, is actually buying those stuffs, mixing those with colors [dunno know why on earth], and smearing others ( especially ladies) with that. I was sitting comfortable inside the union room where any kind of such activities were strictly banned. And with even my batch mates being involved in the joy making, I had no other options.

One of the first years proudly announced," we bought at least 600 eggs today." I was stunned. I could not get the point. I told him, " Can you ever imagine how many people are deprived from having an egg?" He gave me an embarrassed smile and went away [hadn't I said this, he probably had an intention of targeting my head]. I thought, they are first years only, and are here for making some fun. This kind of strange and spoiler thoughts are not expected to come into their young brains. Later on, I told the same thing to another one of my friends. He replied," Your point is vague in the sense that even if we haven't bought them, they wouldn't have gotten an access to those eggs." He had a splendid point really. So, I had no other options than to remain silent.

Arre yaar, get a life. You had your share of fun no doubt. But please don't accuse us for not getting involved in your fun. We will rather opt for putting a scoop of ice-cream into our stomach than to smear someone with that. And all of you out there, I guess you should rethink. Holi is a festival of colors and fun. "Chowmein" doesn't really fall into the category of colors, and does it fall into that "fun" category?? If I get a chance, I will rather give it to Senapati or some other poor kid. And regarding my "beer", I put that stuff into my stomach rather than throwing it at someone.

finally I would like to say you that, I or anyone else, who was not involved in "merrymaking" is none to judge what is right and what is wrong. It was your money, you do whatever you want with that. We are nobody to comment. But the same holds true in our case also. So please don't tell us things like, " you missed the fun" etc etc. Its not our kind of fun. :)

Dunno why, but feeling a genuine urge to become a footballer recently. To say frankly, I was never into this game right from the beginning. Yeah! had some tries while I was in the school. The playground in our school was very small and dusty for cricket. So we rather chose to play football with plastic balls in the tiffin break. There was no fixed position for a player. All we used to do is to clutter at the place wherever the ball came and try to air it towards our half. And then there were some really skillful players, but with almost fifteen guys jostling over the ball in a small area, they hardly got any chance to show their skills. That was my sole link with football. And then in the park adjacent to my home, in the early school days, when I used to return home early, we used to play football occasionally there. I played as an winger, the left winger as far as I can remember. Not because of the fact that I was a great player. The reason was very few among us was capable of making a cross with left feet whereas that limb of mine was comparatively stronger than the others. They also said that I had a good hidden speed burst. Its not something you see with the great ball players. Rather its something "off the ball". I hardly required to dribble, whenever I got a pass, I used to take a quick view of the opponent players surrounding me and then start a sprint. There was not any question of dribbling because of the others hardly being able to catch up with me. Whereas my teammates knew about this asset of mine, so they started sprinting as hard they can as they saw me receiving the ball.

Then I got into the college. I hardly had any interest in making an appearance in the freshers cup.Most of my friends were also far more skillful than me. So either way, it was a "no-no" for me. Then for 2.5 years, I never received the ball. I used to watch my friends playing football. Three of my friends were really great, one among them was a forward, one a play maker and the last but not the least was a defender. It was great to watch them playing. I was sure that this game is not my cup of tea. So I abstained from taking part in any such games.

Until recently, I dunno why one day I suddenly took part in one such game.It was disastrous. Those guys were mind blowing. They did everything with the ball. They dribbled us as if we were like human posts and they are merely taking the ball past us. Then I don't know how I managed to net one. Accidents happen , you know.

The very next day I was playing with some mediocre players. With my friends on, I hardly get a ball. That's reasonable because passing it to a other man around is more probable to fetch a better outcome. But that day, The goalie I think mis-kicked and I got the ball. I took a quick look on my surroundings and started the sprint. The opponents were shocked. However one guy managed to come in front me, I dribbled him smoothly and pushed the ball into the net. My teammates were impressed, few moments later I got a similar ball, and started a similar run. The last defender out there took no chance this time. He tripped me, and I like did a somersault.

One of my acquaintances was watching us. I was injured and got off the field. He told, "Nice gallery man". I really wished to slap him, my arm was hurt, moreover who wants to "play act" while only the last defender is around, if you manage to get the ball off from him, its almost a goal.

However the very next day, I was again in the field with my skilled friends and the same story got repeated.

However I feel that its not over yet. I still have something in me to deliver. I really need to shut some mouths. Although I can simply wave them but still something's bugging me. Something's telling me from inside to get dressed again. Dunno whether this fire will continue to burn or not. I think it will get extinguished soon.If not, then my friends, either you get ready to commit a crime or you get ready to make an wise decision. :)

Its all about pointing out who are your friends and who are enemies. Well! sometimes, people do wear a mask of a friend. But such things are beyond the scope of this little brain. I am talking about the known friends and known enemies.

He loves his enemies. They provide him with the fuel that he needs to motivate himself. He knows that there are some people who are completely reluctant about this kind of motivation, they are least bothered about whatever their enemies do, they know whatever they do,they can't subdue them. He is jealous of such people. He can't be like them. So he thought - its better to adapt yourself to the situation rather than to run after something you can never be.

As I said, he loves his enemies. He loves the way they irritate him, they taunt him, they try to oppress him, try to drain out the last drop of blood from his mundane body. He loves the way they laugh at him. Those laughs gives him motivation.Once he was told-" when you are in a game, never look at the face face of the opponent unless the situation compels you to do so. This way you will never be aware of the identity of your opponent and can play your natural game." Those words went embossed in his heart. Every time somebody laughs at him, mimics him, uses him to their own purpose, he learns a lesson. Its something like lamentation, only difference being instead of punishing himself he toils. He toils hard. His enemies go to bed. They are satisfied that he can never surpass them. Whereas he spends sleepless nights. He improves himself. And one day......

When someone gets insulted by someone else, sometimes the person challenges the opponent to enter his lair and get out alive. He's not like that. He likes to kill the opponent with their own weapon.

NEXT STOPPAGE-ARENA [IF HE GETS A CHANCE] :)

Okay! It was the much anticipated "V-day" [for many]. I spent the whole day with two of the greatest valentines I ever had in my life. The love story is continuing for 21 straight years now and not showing any indications of a halt. Whatever I do, they forgive me.No matter whatever I say, they always end up trusting me. But their love ain't blind. I am talking about my parents. Proud to be with them on this day.One should always stay along with the people who needs him.:)

In the morning, while surfing through some friend suggestion by facebook, my eyes got stuck to a particular profile. Not many times you can see a familiar face in that suggestion unless you are a newbee to facebook. So, I sent him a friend request and took a glance in his friend list. My attention was drawn to a particular name, the ex of one of my friends. When we were in the first year, they happened to be one of the most discussed couples. Suddenly the memories of the first year days started crowding in my mind. The ragging period, the occasional class bunks [a routine now!!!] , the joy of freedom, and moreover, the first "Sanskriti". Dunno what happened later between those two, but one day I saw another guy in a pic with her instead of my friend. Later on I was told that they had a split.

For a change today, I did manage to take out some time from my " busy" schedule and realized that reading books aint a bad habit at all. In fact sometimes, they can turn out to be the best option for killing some time. :)

All in all, I have a mixed feeling about this Valentine's day, I expected a chat with a "particular someone". But that "Particular someone" never turned up. I expected a horrible day but it dint turn out to be so either. It turned out to be quite a beautiful day for me. :)

Ho ho ho! It's "Sanskriti" time again.The AFSU[or DOCOMO?] "Sanskriti" is already over. SFSU "Sanskriti" will be taking place in a few days. And the countdown for the biggest and the best, the FETSU "Sanskriti" has began.It's seeing the familiar faces tensed and weary again. With only about 25 days to go before the curtain raiser, the last moment preparation [??] is going on. People are running hither and thither, coming up with some new ideas that may decrease the deficit to some extent, suggesting new events that may draw the crowd, suggesting performers. The campus looks calm and cool as always, but that's only the tip of the iceberg. A hidden tension, anticipation is running in the mind of every organizer. We are planning to make this year's "Sanskriti" different to some extent from the previous ones. With some new ideas in the events category, a completely new plan in the campaigning and postering category, a desperate try towards professionalism, now only time can tell us whether all this works or not. This years "Sanskriti" is even more important for us, the 3rd years and obviously for the final years. Its the final "Sanskriti" for the final years [at least, final "Sanskriti" as an active member of the organizing committee] whereas its a step towards maturity for us [after all, next year, we'll be the final years :(]. Let's hope, this years "Sanskriti" will rock just like the previous ones managed to do. Ho ho ho.

I don't really feel that it's a topic worth posting. But then I am so pissed off with it that I couldn't but post. I am pissed off watching people, watching how selfish they can be, watching the way they "use" others. Now, I'm not really convenient with the word "use". because some say that, its used in much harsher conditions. But I'm running short of vocabulary, and I feel that the word "use" is appropriate even here, although in a li'l bit less severe way.

First of all, the way they deceive others really annoys me. Its not actually the case that I can't tolerate watching people being used . Rather I believe that the morons should be "used" in order to make them realise that they are morons and time has come for changing themselves.[however, I don't categorize "emotional fools" to be morons].But what really pisses me off that the people think that their "crime" wont get revealed. Come on, you have thousands of people of same/higher intelligence level than you, surrounding yourself. Then how can you expect that your deeds wont come out. May be it'll take an year, and by that time fear of getting caught will make absolutely no headache to you. Although I'm more of a humanist type, and hate taking opportunity of the weaker sides of a human character, but I still admire those people who plan it up. Who knows that their "crime"s will come out one day and try to calculate the probable time required for it and take actions according to their "research". But then there are people who try to deceive people and their act gets caught on the very next weak.Really embarrassing huh??!!

And then there are people who tend to use others. And then they suddenly realize that they have committed a "crime". A guilty feeling starts growing in their mind and what they do? they apologize to the concerned people. I hate this. Because if the person on the receiving end is a "good" human being, he/she's gonna forgive the other person for sure. And their lies the even more bitter part. I think this kinda people should never be forgiven, but just because the other person is a bit "soft" in nature, they get whatever they want. And they "use" the person once again.

Although, I don't really believe in God, I do believe that there is someone who's watching and everybody must pay for what they have done. I don't believe in heavens or hells, I think they pay it back during their lifetime. Perhaps someone "use"ing them in the same way he/she did with someone else.

How does it feel to move on?

My story is about a boy. Quite obviously, like any other story of this kind, the boy loved a girl. The only difference in this story is that the boy and the girl were great friends. Now, the boy expressed his feelings for the girl quite a few times, but the girl denied because she had something in her heart for another guy. The guy rejected the girl, she turned to the boy for solace. The boy tried to provide her a cove, and to some extent he succeeded.But then, the guy returned. The girl again turned to him [quite natural, because the girl was mad for him]. The boy suggested the girl not to be with the guy again. The boy had only one thing in his mind, not to see his friend rejected again. But no body understood, everyone thought that he was jealous,possessive. The boy was hurt, he was hurt badly. He expected a little bit more of understanding from his friend. The situation worsened and they lost contacts with each other. The girl apparently wasn't interested to keep any type of contact with him.

Now the interesting part of the story begins. The boy was enraged at first.He thought he can do well without that girl.He tried to make friendship with some other girls.[God knows,why only girls] But every time, after a few talks or so he realized that he has become molded into a dice by the girl. As he realized so, he was thrown into depression. " hell, why can't I get over her memories"-he thought. Then it happened to be that all of a sudden he met another girl. This girl was weird. She had something in her words,in her attitude. But few days later, they lost contacts yet again.

The first girl came back into the boy's life. She made an apology for everything and started talking with each other yet again. The boy was excited to get her back. Then suddenly one day they met, the boy was astonished to see that he is not feeling the same excitement seeing her as he used to feel before. That day, they started talking, but after a few words the boy realized that he's running out of topics. " It is not me"- he thought. " those days we used to talk non-stop for hours and am now running out of words!!!!!!!". He searched for the reason, and it took no time for him to realize that the second girl did the damage. While the boy's brain was saying " hell! why can't I get over her", his heart was smiling and may be saying, " I have other plans"

Congratulations boy. Doesn't that feel heavenly??

Well, I have a very very strange view about death. I know its something next to being impossible, but still I dunno why I believe it. I believe that once death comes to put an end to somebody's life, the person himself fails to realise that he is dead at first. First he tries to open his eyelids, but finds himself unable to do that. Then he tries to move his limbs, perhaps to pinch himself to be sure that he is not dreaming, but his efforts goes into vain again, then perhaps he tries to smile a bit or do other stuffs only to face failure again, but during all these processes, his ear remains functioning.He gets confused his own situation. Then the hearing power also fades away gradually. The person accepts defeat, he realizes that life has left him without any notice.He beds a final goodbye to his nears and dears, and ventures towards the unknown.In case, his eyelids remain open, he can see too during that struggle period but he can't respond.Someone tells him from his inside, " Shut forever"

I dun have any basis of these thoughts, but still dunno why, I believe it. :)

Ever since Rafael Nadal joined the world of lawn tennis for men, I've always been an avid follower of him.This is so because I always support the fighters, those people who are lack of talent but tend to compensate it efficiently with their stamina and fighting attitude.Nadal is an excellent representative of this category of human beings. Now being a supporter of Nadal implies that you are against Roger Federer, a representative of the blessed category, who plays it on skill and style instead of toil and sweat. So I was against Federer.But the thing that he had done recently has certainly made me rethink. He has made me believe that he's a real champ.Once there was an era with all Nadal around, with Federer hardly being able to reach the finals only to get defeated by the young maestro.Things turned to be such that he was even getting defeated by other players too.I thought I saw the fall of another legend. But Fedex had something else in mind. His struggle started. He never said die. He chose the path of sweat and dust to reclaim his throne.And now here is he again. The champ is reborn. The critics may attribute his recent success with the absence of Nadal in the circuit.But still then, Federer has really shown the courage to sustain, to mix up his talent with his stamina.And when talent and skill gets mixed up with tenacity and stamina, an individual gets nearly invincible.Dunno what will happen to his streak once Nadal returns, but this fighter out there certainly deserves an ovation.

Joe Satriani at his best

Once again couldn't but post it. For me, its the greatest creation by Joe Satriani, 3 minutes 18 seconds of pure magic.

All hail to the magician!! \m/

The greatness of a musician doesn't depend on how difficult notes they play or how complex music they can compose or how fast their fingers are on the fret. Rather their greatness depend on the impact they leave on the listener's mind. So, when people say "Comfortably numb-pulse solo" is just too simple to play, I think thats where the genius of David Gilmour is hidden. He created a masterpiece thats simple to play,but is heavenly. He proved that simplicity and exquisiteness are not mutually exclusive. Same is the case with this masterpiece I think. Some may say it to be slow, some may say it to be simple. But that IS the genius of Joe Satriani.

The sweet smell of a great sorrow lies over the land
Plumes of smoke rise and merge into the leaden sky:
A man lies and dreams of green fields and rivers,
But awakes to a morning with no reason for waking

He's haunted by the memory of a lost paradise
In his youth or a dream, he can't be precise
He's chained forever to a world that's departed
It's not enough, it's not enough

His blood has frozen & curdled with fright
His knees have trembled & given way in the night
His hand has weakened at the moment of truth
His step has faltered

One world, one soul
Time pass, the river rolls

It's not enough it's not enough
His hand has faltered
.... .... ......

And he talks to the river of lost love and dedication
And silent replies that swirl invitation
Flow dark and troubled to an oily sea
A grim intimation of what is to be

There's an unceasing wind that blows through this night
And there's dust in my eyes, that blinds my sight
And silence that speaks so much louder that words,
Of promises broken

- Sorrow [Pink floyd]

There is a special purpose for posting the lyrics. This is the song that has inspired me most for the past 3-4 months. It has made me believe that I'm not the only one. There are thousands of people like me, who are suffering from the same dilemma. And then only a few days back, I listened to the "pulse" version of the same song and experienced that how some simple changes can transform a song into a totally different one.However, what I'm trying to say is that, I'm really grateful to Pink Floyd for this song. Long live....!!!

Cartoon network

"Sugar, spice and everything nice, these were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girl..." and my eyes went glued to the television. Even one year back, I loved cartoons and regularly watched them.It's not that I don't like them now, but I hardly get the time to sit in front of the television, and then when I do manage to get some time, my mom and dad just snatch the remote control from my hand and switch to some Bengali soap-operas.

Power puff girls, Dexter's lab, The Flintstones, Scooby-doo were always on my hit list and will remain there forever. Just can't forget those sultry summer evenings, sitting in front of the television, me and my sis and the intro starts, " Scooby dooby doo, where are you, you've got some work to do now". Then sometimes during the commercial, sis will change the channel to MTV and I'll fight with her to get back the remote and threaten her that I'll complain against her to mom. Johny Bravo and Popeye was also my favorite, but I dint get a chance to follow them regularly because baba thought them to be "adult material" to a class four student. However, as I grew up, I did get permission to watch those two cartoons. Then say at seventh standard or so, Dexter's lab and Powerpuff girls became my favorite. I had a crush on Blossom *blushes* xD. The way she managed the two sisters of her was awesome in one word. And then she had long red hair, big eyes, bossy attitude but a soft heart. I just loved her. Dex was my favorite for another reason. My regular bullies with my didi somewhat resembled with that of Dex and Deedee. And I was always into big scientific experiments, say one day I mixed orange juice with Otrivin [nasal drop] to see whether it causes some explosion . After seeing the result, I became disappointed and closed the lid of the bottle. Dunno what happened to the person, who used the drop next. xD.

Time went by. And gradually my choices changed. When the Pokemon series started, I became a fan of that. I had an album containing pics of all Pokemons. Little Ash Ketchum, Misty, Brock, Tracy and May became my heroes. And then team rocket was funny as hell. xD. But probably the series that influenced me most was "Bey blades". I loved all the characters there, Tyson, Mimi, Daichi, Ray, Max everyone. But my favorite was Kai. He had an attitude that used to suit him only. And the most brilliant thing about him was, he dint go for showoffs, he talked less and his blade spoke for him. I learned quite a few things from the series. Here's a little secret- my "I never say die, so no one can stop me" comes from Tyson. He was an warrior, always fighting till the last breath. Tyson vs Brooklyn was one of the best fights I've seen in my whole life. closely followed by Tyson vs Garland, Tyson vs Kai, Kai vs Joseph, Kai vs Ray. Although Kai was my favorite, I supported Ray in the battle, dunno why. I loved each and every character from the series.

Recently, I used to watch Ben 10. The adventures of Benjamin tennison, Gwendelyn Tennison and their grandpa. Ben accidentally discovers a watch like thing called Omnitrix that can transform him into numerous mighty aliens. Ben dedicates his power to the welfare of mankind. But evil alien Vilgax is behind that Omnitrix too, he tries to take it back from Ben. I enjoyed that series too.^_^

Too bad, this tough 3rd year schedule doesn't allow me to get back to those cartoons. x( x( x(

Q: Why this change?

A: felt monotonic.

Q: Why this template?

A: Coz I like it.

Q: Why something related to coffee always?

A: Co-incidence

Q: Added features?

A: The 'home' link leads to readers blog

The 'contact' link can be used to send me emails

The log-in link leads to reader's dashboard [if logged in]/ login page [if not logged in]

Q: The title "Dismantled reverie" is illegible.

A: Tried hard to fix it, but couldn't. and I loooooove the template, so dint want to change it.

Q: Did u have a disturbed childhood?

A: Do I know u??

He was running. Not for his life, for his identity. He wanted to leave the valley of darkness as soon as possible. For years he had been running, sometimes a thin beam of light has encouraged him. But at the end of the day, he always found them not to be the rays of Sun. Some artificial lights dimly alighting the valley, giving it a depressing shadowy black and white appearance. For years, this mélange of black and white, these shades of gray has been his life. As if, a filtering goggles has been put up in front of his eyes that prohibited him from seeing any colors. As if, he was compelled to wear a veil. He tried with all his might to shake off the veil. But no use. The valley was black and white, with hardly any sunshine. Just when he realized that he has to wear the veil in order to remain in the valley, he started running, to escape. Unlike other fairy tales, his journey wasn’t that eventful. With hardly any signs of life in the valley, who will stop him? But it seemed never-ending. The valley was of great span. He ran for days, for years, for ages. But it never seemed to finish. At last, he saw something like a horizon, something separating the valley with something else. It was not like the valley. “Is that what they call sunshine?” he wondered. A golden ball was shining in the blue sky. It was giving away yellow beams of light. “Is that sunray?” –he thought. Green fields and white clouds were beckoning him, alluring him towards something unknown, wind gushing with a whistling sound, shaking the leaves on the trees. “Is that what they call Sun? Is that what they call life?”- He thought, he thought and he thought. His questions were never-ending and there was no one to answer them. “All my life, I’ve been running for this”- he wondered. Step by step he headed towards the unknown. But just when he was about to cross the border, something pulled him back, some thoughts. “ I was there living in the valley, I don’t know what awaits for me in this unknown lands, may be I’ll be killed, may be I will not be able to find food.“ Suddenly, the valley behind started darkening even more. It was pitch black out there, and the waves of shadow were advancing towards him. He saw the approaching shadows behind. Thousands of souls screaming and shouting in pain, in agony. Shouting him not to leave, cursing him, stretching their claws to clasp him, to keep him with them. “ Its time to make a decision”- he thought and he didn’t think anymore. He stepped into the new world. He took a few steps there. The screams behind have stopped. He looked back into the valley. The darkness still prevailed there. “May be someday it’ll get enlightened, may be someone will bring life into it.”- He thought. A smile appeared in his face “ Not me”. He bed it a final goodbye and started walking away.

:(

Quite a few days back, I was reading a column by Suhail Sheth. And he said something like, " never marry an electrical engineer, these guys deal with all those circuit things, quite a messy person indeed." Myself being a "to be" [hopefully] electrical engineer, will recommend the same. You can never know, he/she may seem to be the best person in the world in the morning, then in the evening, he/she may vent out all his/her frustrations on you. Why?? read on!!

An electrical engineer's ultimate fantasy is an electrical machine, let me clarify this jargon a bit. An electrical machine is a thingie that either rotates a shaft or steps up/down a voltage. There are three main kinds of electrical machines, that rotates a shaft. Their names are inconsequential. But all they do, is the same job, they make a shaft rotate. Why on earth then we need those three kinds where a single could have done well?? x( x(... perhaps to add a bit of burden on the "innocent" minds. xP

Electrical lab especially the machines lab is the "electrical engineers paradise".Here an electrical engineer learns to make things difficult. But then, engineering is all about making simpler things difficult. But electrical engineers are masters at it.

Today, it started at about 10:30. With four students gathering at the machines lab. " Fuck, we are starting with machines?". "Yessss",some heavenly voice spoke up. "If we are to do it then lets do it", " but there's no circuit diagram in the manual dude? how are you gonna make the connection?" " errrr!! no diagrams?"...so the day started.

Even if you had a connection diagram, to compare between the diagram and the actual connection is something like comparing between tomatoes and jelly fishes and a Robert Langdon must be called to decipher it. But, then they din have a diagram, so? lets head to the assistant.

" copy from the mother copies, that's how they do it, ppl here just come in,do nuthin, copy it from the mothers, and go away, Unless...."

there was a certain uncanny thing about this unless, which made the four to react quickly and somehow manage a mother copy. "So let's start"

they had copied only up to the first run, then a sudden flow of students came in, guess what? the chemical 2nd year has elab too, and the very next tables got occupied by teachers showing them stuffs, " non-dip" [thats how they say] after all.

Clock ticked 11:20, they stopped cheating because there are teachers all around, some even joking with them. All they had done is to copy the 1st run. Their teacher came in. " Test the continuity"- his majesty's order. " but sir!... we've already done it! here is it."-one among them shows the copy."Do it again".They started the test. "Fuck man!! it's analog multimeter, the scalings are in reverse order."- one among them said after they finished the test. "So perform it again"," done boss, the rest two are gonna be identical. Let's show it". "hmmm! what about the rest two???", " Sir! ntpl 59,60,61...same batch sir!! Gonna be the same!" "You never know, do it!!"- That's how you start making things difficult, electrical engineering demands you to vault your brain safely into the locker.

Clock ticks 11:40. They finished checking continuity of the transformer. " start polarity test", your demand is our command.Okay!! to tell you guys, this test is comparatively difficult.okay!! so there they go again. Repeating the same test for 3 transformers of the same batch.

Clock ticks 12:00...chemical 2nd year leaves leaving them behind. Now some electrical 2nd year joins the party. "Okay students! ready for the group operation"," hell ya sir!!!" ," sick b*****d, cud hav dun it an hour earlier", " Gosh!! I'm hungry! haven't taken anything for breakfast" " I feel sleepy man, haven't had a gud sleep!!" " Curse him!!"

Teacher:- " here u go. u connect this with this, and that with that, all positives with all positives...red wires moron!! and negatives blue... what r u doin??"

" connecting as u've said sir!!", " okay! go on!! remember ammeter in series, voltmeter in parallel", " done sir!"," power on!!!"," sir!! this ammeter is not showin any deflections"

" you morons!! check the connections", they check everything. "seems allryt na??" " I'm getting frustrated, gonna blow up sum1 today" [there u go, here it starts].

" hey whats the problem?"

" checked everything sir!! seems allryt"... teacher comes, checks " hmmmm!! ammeter seems faulty, get another one", they fetch another, " sir!! now the voltmeter!!" " eh???" " it aint showin deflection", sir comes!!! checks everything..." change the load box"... they change it... works finally... electrical 2nd year leaves the party...in comes electronics 2nd year... clock ticks 1:00...some of the 2nd year students stares sympathetically towards them.They managed some grins.

"only done the wye-wye"...go for "delta-wye...3 more ammeters... keep the voltmeter floating"," sir!! the voltmeter shows unbalanced condition","what??"...teacher too was getting a bit irritated..." faulty ammeter...change", " sir!! but still no deflection"

teacher: "what the hell is wrong with this lab?? every alternate instrument is faulty. How can the students perform the experiments??? even the transformers are messed up, one has to conduct tests on every individual one to ascertain their polarity.okay!! let me show you guys"

Teacher joins the party. After all he's an electrical engineer too. x).

after half an hour:

"my back's gonna get screwed up bigtime today, m drawin the diagram. You guys connect. I'll come later.Anything wrong... u gonna get marked absent"-teacher departs... they made the connections, and sat idle on the floor for 45 mins... after all its the residence of "Vishwakarma"...u can't just sit everywhere. Teacher returns on 2:30... they were pissed off... they haven't had a lunch break, they reached the lab sharp at 10:20 on a chilly winter morning ... they weren't given the opportunity to sit properly, to drink water... their thumbs are screwed bigtime by tightening screws... thousands of screws... some even required "plus" when they are attended by the assistants... and all they had ware bare hands... the teacher sees the sunken faces... they thought, " he had a lunch"...but big surprise... "here you go!! the Scott connection is the most difficult one, here's the diagram. short this this and this", he himself joins hands with the students...and almost spontaneously, " how you guys managed to tighten these screws?" ..."simple sir!! we didn't"...he stared in disbelief, " x da!! x da!!" x da comes.... " these screws can't be tightened by hands"... plus comes...struggle between man and machine starts...clock ticks 3:00..meanwhile these fellows weren't sitting idle, they were making the remaining connections... finally mankind wins... teacher gives a triumphant smile. " now conduct it"... after another series of faulty instruments they finally managed to cover thins up at 3:30... "erase all the markings","why sir??"," u guys did it, but y shud the next batch enjoy the benefit??" " okay sir" ... they realise that the teacher was feeling the same. They submitted everything.

"Dude! 1 st day of the new year!! and five sucking hours in the lab, can't stand it anymore. Goin back home" (allotted lab span is 3 hours, usually it takes no more than 2 hours, their friends were doing all kinds of interesting activities during this period)

" Can't go home now, have an urgent discussion on the fest"

" put Phunshuk Wangdu here, n he's gonna be a real flop."

"y??"

" arre!! u din see??? the thing he did with Lobo's project. He carried out some measurements, and found out where the error lies"

" ha!! so??"

" arre!! the instruments here won't give him any damn readings. The indicator loves the null marking. So, how will he carry out those measurements?? favorite subject machines eh??!! my foot!! "

" I'm gonna drain all my frustrations on sum1"

so there it goes...

If I get a chance I will jot down the "control systems lab" experience of another group. Judge it yourself.

We, electrical engineers are very messy kinda people..we do circuits and stuffs.

My first post of the decade

I don't know why people have gone so crazy about this year, 2010. What I'm trying to say is that I've seen quite a few new years. Yes! itprovides an occasion to celebrate . But this year, its like craziness filling the year. Starting with people becoming apprehensive about the arrival of the year much beforehand. I could hear whispers and planning among my friends from as early as the second week of December. Yes, there may be people who does do the same every year. But this year, even the unaccustomed ones, who always used to take the new year's eve as "yet another day" [or at least pretended to do so], have joined the party.

I am not saying that I am getting irritated by this sudden change in people. In fact, I'm enjoying it because I love happy faces. But, this sort of craziness or rather "insanity" is a better word, has made me inquisitive. I don't know whether my lack of activity or what is the reason, but I've talked with quite a few people. And have finally arrived to the conclusion that people are expecting that this year, 2010 will bring on a radical change in their life. People are getting frustrated in their mundane life. May be the quality of our living has improved manifold but the satisfaction level in citizens has also deteriorated significantly.

Another thing, that I've noticed in people around me is that, most of them are pissed off with the year 2009 by some way or other. Some had educational problems, some are frustrated with the increasing pressure of study, some had disastrous semesters,some had serious family problems, while some have undergone broken relationships. All in all, they all are expecting that the advent of this new year, will be able to banish the last traces of blues from their life.

I am optimistic too. Let's enjoy this season of Cauliflowers, "Joynogorer Moya"s, Roses, Chrysanthemums, Granny made Pickles,Hangouts, get togethers and parties.

WISHING EVERYBODY A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR. :)

- ARNAB